I read a blog today that really hit home.
True to any decent blog, it made me compare and analyze my life. I spent most of the afternoon typing away at work and over-analyzing the life I’ve created for myself. And for her.
In my day to day life – I feel like I must always been in control. I take on way too much and in general try to be a team player – though I prefer to be in the lead of that team. I exhaust myself frequently and have not drifted far from the perfectionist blood of my youth. I love plowing through a to-do list in as little time as possible. I can be anxious and irritable. Work is work and it must be done. And not only must it be done – it needs to be done well.
My parenting style however is quite different. I’ve never had crazy expectations for K and try to let her just be. And enjoy life. I learned early on that being a full time working mom meant trying to find balance. I struggle every day but I’ve learned it’s okay if the clothes get folded but not put up or a glass sits in the sink over night.
I’ve learned that stained shirts aren’t worth the tears of changing. And that spilled drinks aren’t the end of the world.
Balance is so important but a fit of giggles and snuggling is even more so. When Katelyn grows up – I want her to realize that I worked my ass of to give her a better life. I also want her to know that she too can work her ass off if she wants to. I want her to feel empowered to be whatever she wants to be. But I also want her to remember staying up late cuddling, dancing in the kitchen, playing the same game 50 times.
And I hope she never doubts my love for her – no matter how Type A I can be sometimes.