Enough is enough is enough.

Miles started throwing up last night. I sat up with him until about 1 when I couldn’t fight to keep my eyes open any longer.

This morning, same thing. Throwing up. I called the vet in a panic because I cannot lose him too.

It was so hard going back there. The first thing I saw when we got to the desk were gift bags from Pets at Peace. Gift. Bags.

I felt my blood boiling. My dog is dead and being returned to me in a gift bag with gold and green paper. Seriously.

Except after checking – MY dog isn’t even there yet. 10 bags. 10 dogs all put to sleep last week. And my girl isn’t even ready.

The vet checked a few things and declared that Miles is suffering from grief induced Colitis. No food or water and a re-check tomorrow.

He is sad. My boy is grieving. And it’s making him sick.

He’s thrown up most of the day despite having any more food or water. I’m trying to not go crazy and call the vet for every sigh and gag but it’s so hard.

I had this horrible thought in the back of my mind that maybe they had been poisoned and that he was just starting on the road Penny was on. Or that he would grieve himself to death.

The vet’s advice? Take him to pick out another pack member. Since he was a puppy when Penny came the vet said he likely will never adjust to being a “one dog pack.”

My heart sunk. As much as I know we’ll get another dog some day I can’t imagine it happening any time soon.

He’s spent the evening either hiding in the bathroom or falling over at my feet. I really don’t know how to help him. I mean reasoning with him isn’t helping. Telling him he can bark at Penny in Heaven (Katelyn) isn’t helping.

I suppose time will heal all wounds.

It did give me a chance to really talk to the vet. Thursday all happened so fast. After Penny was gone and I had managed to drag my sobbing self out – she had a post-mortem exam. Her head had visible swelling. He advised that something had ruptured or she had brain swelling. She could have lived several miserable days at home before her body gave out. I was able to spare my girl some pain.

And that helped.

I also found one single Penny hair on my desk when I got to work. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost my mind and signs are everywhere.

Now if only Sam would get home and I could actually prepare for a long drive and yucky morning.

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2 thoughts on “Enough is enough is enough.

  1. bjones1031 says:

    I’ll be thinking of you. I’ve put one of my dog’s to sleep, Fancy, and one died on his own time, Sharky. I still love them, and miss their unique personalities. I can’t even imagine what I’ll do when my dog, Luke passes. I hope you find a way to honor Ms Penny. Sending love and hugs your way.

    • lindsey5103 says:

      Thank you. Some days are better than others. I’ve stopped feeling so guilty about my decision after several conversations with our vet who has reassured me she would have suffered greatly. I think I will miss her for the rest of my life! May you and your Luke enjoy many more years together!

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